TrumpRx™ Prescriptions for Everything
100% Satirical. 0% Actual Medicine.

The Only Prescription Strong Enough
for America’s Problems.

Welcome to TrumpRx™, a parody platform delivering bold, untested, and spectacularly overconfident “treatments” for every issue — political, personal, or purely imaginary.

Not evaluated by the FDA, CDC, WHO, or anyone who passed 8th-grade science.
Powered by alternative facts and incredible vibes.
Side effects may include eye-rolling and uncontrollable laughter.
Featured “Treatments”

Because Why Fix Policy When You Can Prescribe It?

Every TrumpRx™ “medication” looks suspiciously like a real pharmaceutical product, then collapses under the weight of its own hype. Read the labels. Slowly.

Rx TR-WALL
Border Confidence Formula

Wallitol

For individuals experiencing chronic feelings of “not enough wall.” May temporarily increase the sensation that concrete solves everything.

Directions: Take one tablet every time someone says “nuance,” “policy,” or “comprehensive reform.” Wash down with a tall glass of cable news.

Side effects:
Spontaneous chanting, seeing caravans in ordinary cloud formations, and a persistent urge to say “Believe me” before every sentence.
Rx TR-ELCT
Electoral Reimagining Agent

Electionex

Memory enhancement supplement designed to help users recall victories in elections that did not, technically, go their way.

Directions: Take daily until reality becomes “just your opinion.” Works best when combined with frequent posts on social media.

Side effects:
Recount déjà vu, confusion about maps, and sudden belief that certification is just a suggestion.
Rx TR-COVF
Late-Night Comms Stabilizer

Covfefequin

For those 3 a.m. moments when your thumb is faster than your brain. Helps slow the impulse to blast half-formed thoughts into the world.

Directions: Take one capsule with strong coffee and a calm friend who says, “Maybe don’t post that.”

Side effects:
Half-deleted posts, mysterious typos, and the lingering question: “Should I pretend that was on purpose?”

Doctor’s Note*

*Not a real doctor. Not real medicine. Not even close.

“I know prescriptions. I know healthcare. A lot of people, very smart people, they come up to me and they say, ‘Sir, how do you know so much about medicine?’ And I tell them, ‘Look at TrumpRx. It’s perfect. Maybe the most perfect medicine anyone’s ever seen.’”
— Unofficial, Self-Proclaimed Medical Genius
Title: Creator of His Own Expert Opinion

Highly Scientific Testimonials

Peer-reviewed by exactly zero journals, but heavily endorsed by people who say “I did my research” and mean “I watched a video.”

“Some Guy”
“I took Wallitol and immediately felt 10 feet taller. I wasn’t. But I felt like I was, and that’s what matters to me.”
“Karen G.”
“Before TrumpRx, I had problems. Now I have different problems, but at least they’re on-brand.”
Anonymous Reviewer
“Better than actual healthcare. Sad! Just kidding, please fund real healthcare.”

Frequently Asked (and Slightly Worried) Questions

Is any of this real medicine?

Absolutely not. TrumpRx™ is pure satire and provides zero medical benefit, zero political solutions, and zero reasons to skip talking to actual professionals.

Can I share this site?

Yes. Share freely as long as it’s clear you understand this is parody. If someone tries to fill a real prescription for Wallitol, please gently recommend a news literacy class.

Is this an official campaign or medical site?

No. This is an independent, humor-only project created for commentary, parody, and cathartic laughter. It is not affiliated with any campaign, party, or actual clinic.

Who is TrumpRx making fun of?

Primarily, it pokes fun at over-the-top political branding, miracle-cure promises, and “I alone can fix it” attitudes — embodied here in one very familiar public figure.

Legal-ish notice: TrumpRx™ and all associated “products” are fictional, comedic, and non-functional. They do not diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, policy failure, or election result. Side effects of visiting this site may include smirking, exasperated laughter, and the urge to fact-check politicians more aggressively.